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00:00:09: Hey everybody welcome back to a new episode of bitchbreathe and because it was so much fun last time I decided I'm bringing these girls back.

00:00:18: So with me again our Sophia and Karina my to Swedish Wise Women and we are in fact still in Sweden as we record this so today I thought we would talk about something very different

00:00:30: last time we talked about menopause anyone who's doing the Big M,

00:00:34: can go back to my last episode or our last episode and check it out but today we're going to talk about soulmates why did we pick this subject because we were just talking over dinner,

00:00:45: and it turns out we each have rather different.

00:00:48: Ideas right about soulmates so here we are we're going to see what the heck's up with these soulmates situation is it just Hollywood is it just in our heads and should we just maybe say goodbye to the idea or embrace it entirely so,

00:01:01: you guys want to say a couple of words Sophia know he's someone hasn't heard you before uh-huh I.

00:01:10: I totally believe in soulmates I think that there is one for you I'll just one.

00:01:19: No but that's complicated but I think I think for now there is one but I think that.

00:01:29: You you can't force it I mean either you know or you don't when I met my wife Karina,

00:01:36: I immediately knew when she touched me just passing by and touched me I immediately knew that she was my soul mate.

00:01:45: Wait how I have to ask that's another podcast ya know about.

00:01:52: Just can we just back a bit because I need to know what is your definition of a soulmate or what because you obviously you immediately took the romantic.

00:02:04: Trail here yeah saying romantic thinking romantic soulmates.

00:02:10: What we're talking about or are there other soulmates that's a good difference issue for me it's all.

00:02:17: It's not just romantic I know we think of it in that term or in those terms but it's not just.

00:02:23: Romantic but I think the question of what is a soulmate like how do we Define it for me I have my reservations about the whole concept I,

00:02:31: that's because I grew up on rom-coms I still love them to this day and I always thought like what you just described so now I'm kind of floored but you just said something that sounded utterly Hollywood to me because I've never felt that.

00:02:46: But I touch somebody in A Soulful way or an actual physical way and just knew.

00:02:51: No I mean that was actually my my first also and we had a lot of those situations and moments that's been really out of body experiences but.

00:03:05: When you say Hollywood I don't know because I never ever identified with Hollywood so.

00:03:13: I wouldn't know so maybe it does exist yeah maybe in my world it does maybe if you're free from a Hollywood definition you're free enough to.

00:03:24: The permeable for that kind of experience yeah maybe maybe.

00:03:29: I do think we have a couple of souls that we surround ourselves with during one Lifetime and.

00:03:38: I think there might be a possibility or a fact that there are many soulmates available to us we just need to open up,

00:03:47: open up for that particular one as we did with with each other we open up.

00:03:54: To each other and you are definitely my soulmate in that sense but.

00:04:00: What if you saying there's someone else who knows who knows what's out there but I mean.

00:04:08: You could also because I know you were sort of getting close to that subject a bit ricardia where.

00:04:14: We could actually see are the types of soulmates like may like more like Souls that are actually out there.

00:04:22: And meant for us to meet because they have something to bring us like could even be a bad experience.

00:04:30: A bad experience that is meant for you particularly for you so that you will have the opportunity to grow and become bigger bigger and better version of yourself that could also be a soulmates,

00:04:41: I agree I think and I before you said it because we discussed about this earlier before you said that I hadn't really,

00:04:48: I was also clinging on to that Hollywood feeling out it must be positive it must be.

00:04:54: Something that you really want I never went maybe not I never thought of it like that maybe it's more.

00:05:02: Okay I were talking about souls or I'm talking about soulmates I think that's another interesting question that's another good distinction to make for me I feel like.

00:05:12: The soul mate thing first of all it misguided me a little bit,

00:05:17: that I thought I was going to have all these signals where I Sophia's now like yeah I had those signals on that Grace because I don't know what Mike you had the signals you like not I had this feeling with the so my but for me I've had it with,

00:05:30: friends.

00:05:32: Like I definitely feel like yeah me too way we relate to each other is a very elevated level right but I also let's say I've had a couple of narcissist in my past I'm sure I must have some of that in my in my present,

00:05:45: being who I am exactly and I still think that these were soul mates in.

00:05:52: I could not have become who I am today if I hadn't been dragged through the dirt know if I hadn't been through this messiness and toxicity.

00:06:04: And I don't think this person would have showed up if they didn't have a mission in my life and this is despite the fact that I don't believe in romantic soulmates so maybe yes maybe I believe in soulmates in terms of.

00:06:15: Meeting people meeting minds or mating bodies and learning something and some stay and some go.

00:06:23: Yeah I agree I never thought of it that it could be a like A- soul soul because.

00:06:32: Sold to me is a beautiful world word and also mate.

00:06:37: So to me it's like I can't get those recorded gonna know but I'm thinking I'm this is you know.

00:06:45: I saw behind the scenes it was a movie with Madonna directed by Guy Ritchie when they were married.

00:06:54: And they were also since it's the filth and wisdom no not like swept away yeah Swift wait hers was filth and wisdom.

00:07:03: Yeah but I was directed abdicating King.

00:07:08: I never saw it I just remember it was called filth and wisdom it sounds like such a mentality you know what's her name I would never never mind never mind.

00:07:19: They were talking they were sitting on a boat and they were talking about soulmates.

00:07:25: And Madonna was really really.

00:07:30: Against it and she said that if somebody somebody would say that.

00:07:36: They were my soulmate I would run in the different direction yeah immediately she said yeah because she thought that.

00:07:47: If I understood her right she thought that if you meet your soulmate they don't give you enough.

00:07:56: Chatter yeah challenges yeah challenge assistance yeah resistance so she was like that's why she said you know because Guy Ritchie was the opposite of her and she thought that.

00:08:08: That was all right yeah so.

00:08:11: The best Madonna they grew soulmates are the ones that give us resistance or.

00:08:20: Actually that's a very kind of stick thing and doesn't Madonna she's obviously into Kebab yeah and in Kabbalah they also say when you meet your soulmate Do Not For a Moment.

00:08:33: From this point forward is all hunky-dory,

00:08:36: not as the other way they're going to make you work for your elevation they're going to make you challenged guns they are going to press buttons that you are just like are you insane yes exactly that's what she said so,

00:08:50: actually that was informed by that who knows that speculations though but yeah.

00:08:56: So if soulmates are meant to teach us something then I guess I've had a lot of focus yeah make us become better.

00:09:05: Which I think still think you do huh what do I do provoke me.

00:09:13: You know I stretch my limits yeah make me become better yeah,

00:09:19: I think I just had an ex I just broke up not too long ago as you know and we were like we got along really well and we connected on many many levels so that I could have technically thought

00:09:31: this must be a soulmate at least and I think for a while that was true but this will not yield necessarily a longer relationship.

00:09:41: Or shared kids or whatever that is in terms of Earthly terms I think you can be really compatible I'm not soulmates at all,

00:09:50: you could be soulmates and be wanting to kill each other all day every day you think so that's not my definition what is yours.

00:09:58: Yeah it has nothing to do with the negative sides so it's just romantic no not romantic but it's also you know.

00:10:07: How to I thought you were saying that I shouldn't say this but not making little sign here with her knee because like when edging I don't know but to me it's like not

00:10:18: just romantic it's how you go about your daily life also it's like

00:10:23: we don't argue about stuff that's you know who's going to make the bed or who's going to do the dishes or whatever I do about no never we

00:10:32: it's more like what do you call this little wheels in a in a machine in a clock yeah,

00:10:38: like in the Clockwork yeah yeah yeah yeah it's forgetting now but I know what you mean yeah it should just be very smooth you know and we never have those issues we never ever fight actually,

00:10:50: I think bromantic doesn't sound so you know who pink elephants are flying around it's really for lack of a better word romantic has such a.

00:11:00: Such a terrible connotation but somehow I see a light when I say this but I also want to say because I think that.

00:11:09: My ex who's still in our lives very much and her son I mean we are also made since somehow because we had,

00:11:19: romantically relationship and then it just transferred in the transition into very good friends.

00:11:27: And and I think that's also I you know I have varied it's difficult for me to imagine not having her in my life but not as a,

00:11:36: girlfriend but that's also something conservative so you can actually have a different soulmates different types of soulmates yes.

00:11:44: So forget everything I said yeah no but I was I was just thinking something.

00:11:52: We had this also earlier in the conversation that I often felt I myself and certainly in the yoga and the spiritual scene where I'm a think a little more.

00:12:01: Present then you you are at this time at least but I also thought there was a lot of spiritual bypassing going on and I remember,

00:12:09: I was bringing up this word and Sophia I was like what the hell was very high in vitamin understand so we like surgery yeah well you know in a way right yes surgically going around something that maybe you should be going through

00:12:21: but no for anyone who weren't who weren't familiar with the with the term spiritual bypassing is,

00:12:27: that's sa pouring sugar over a pile of crap and calling it cake.

00:12:32: And what do I mean by that I mean that sometimes I feel a lot of situations come up for people where they in a relationship and they say well it was meant to be this way and then they stopped working on the relationship or they stop putting effort into their lives because

00:12:46: This was meant to be after all we're soulmates and so they just rely on that so I guess my question for you Sofia and,

00:12:55: who believes in soulmates are says that she's had this experience not just believe but it's an actual fact.

00:13:00: Isn't there a risk when you say it's a soulmate that now okay fine then no matter how this relationship is going it's my soulmate and it's meant to be and so even if it weren't a good relationship I would stay.

00:13:12: Maybe even mind I wrote a book about breakups I'm not trying to ask yeah I know but I know of course not I'm very much aware the I'm also realistic I mean.

00:13:26: I'm also aware that you really have to work for it but it shouldn't be a struggle,

00:13:33: I think that if you struggle with something if you keep breaking up or if you keep arguing or fighting or whatever it is I don't think it's.

00:13:43: Meant to be I don't think you should stay in that relationship.

00:13:48: But I mean I still do stuff for you I'm not just you know okay I said I love you once and that's enough.

00:13:56: Whether know whether it's not even so much that you sit yeah you still do things for each other it was more like if I believe I'm with my soulmate and but yet I'm fighting all day every day,

00:14:06: I'm interested in that because you don't know that then it wouldn't be my soulmate absolutely not,

00:14:11: because you think it would be more harmonious like Harmony would be an indicator that's the word that's the word I'm looking for yes Harmony we actually have a lot of friends,

00:14:21: that don't get along no they don't get along and they shouldn't be together it's quite obvious from the outside.

00:14:28: Still there fighting it you know what about this mission that Souls have like we said at the outset of this back to the hmm what about this mission that.

00:14:39: Maybe that's exactly the kind of fight they're supposed to have like I was just reading this book it's exists in German only unfortunately but she Advocates that it doesn't matter whom you're married to As Long As You Love Yourself.

00:14:53: So if you love yourself then who she says that anyone who is whom you married to you might as well stay with them because they were put there for a reason and you might as well make it work with that person.

00:15:07: Which I thought was shocking because she even says you know she mentions alcoholism she mentions,

00:15:12: infidelity no no she says that there's a way to come back from this know that this is a very reductionist 42 300 nighttime hate evil somebody treats you like shit what you why should you stay

00:15:23: even though I mean I left I mean I love myself yeah I have good self-esteem,

00:15:30: from my parents but I also been taught not to take shit.

00:15:36: I mean I had I have a like everybody here in this room had a psycho in their life and even though I love myself I would never,

00:15:45: ever,

00:15:46: stay with that person that was Madness no I think that's actually I got a little bit upset when you said that because I think it's know

00:15:56: I also question I didn't I also found that a really hard thesis she was putting forth a because I was like if I had stayed in one of my last relationships which was,

00:16:05: one by there was alcohol and there was philandering whatever,

00:16:09: what is things are how much am I going to have to change myself for the dude to show off at before two o'clock in the morning hopefully not from somebody else's bedroom and maybe not completely liquored up and I just thought that was,

00:16:20: in terms of soulmates I'm like is that a soulmate because he's teaching me what you already have you say like the self-esteem or the teaching me to develop the strength to not put up with that anymore,

00:16:33: that's what I think it is you're supposed to be confronted with that other soul that will give you all this shit if so for you to realize that this is not for you and for you to realize I need to get out of this and actually get out of it.

00:16:48: Because that will strengthen you who you are and your values and.

00:16:53: And you didn't need that partner apparently because you already have that yeah but I mean what's the point of I mean is it an isolated feeling that you love yourself and then you have this other.

00:17:08: Crazy person in your life and no matter what you say I love myself I don't care but I can't agree because if you love yourself but not everyone does no no no but I'm just speaking out of you know from from my side.

00:17:22: I love myself I wouldn't be there in the first place exactly exactly,

00:17:27: I wouldn't meet that person and I didn't love myself for that period of time because I was like a darker time in your life yes and I I was lonely I was lonely and I think loneliness can do really strange

00:17:41: stuff to your brain and you can kind of yeah you can agree to a lot of stuff,

00:17:47: but I think a lot of people do yes my past self included yes a to I just feel like I remember when I met,

00:17:57: this one lone long-term relationship I'm talking about it felt like I had met a soul mate because my needs were being met so well that I thought.

00:18:07: Wow this is clearly this is a godsend yeah but you know why now yeah but I still feel like it's an interesting thought that.

00:18:16: I still find the concept of soulmates hard in terms of the Romantic context like I don't think what you experience with Karina the brush over shoulder,

00:18:27: and you felt it I mean I know you both to be very intuitive,

00:18:30: and almost on the on the witchy side a little bit with your premonitions or the way you see through me sometimes and leave my up like not but I just think I would love for that to be.

00:18:42: Something that I could imagine experiencing because to me that sounds like wow it what you will.

00:18:49: I'm definitely he is there any question why I love these women yeah I mean I think you can you can get to a point however wet that's why I was strongly feel where I've come to now over the last several years is that I really enjoy my own company

00:19:02: I don't feel like threatened by the quietness in the background or,

00:19:07: even when I was still in my relationship I was alone a lot because we didn't see each other so much and I still don't feel

00:19:13: like somebody needs to move into this silence or vacated this space it's a good place but if she brushes my shoulder and I'm feeling good about it

00:19:22: I'm not going to say no but I think that the psycho actually taught me even more self love,

00:19:31: gave me more sad maybe yeah but she wasn't my soulmate I mean maybe more sold to me,

00:19:37: rather than yeah but I immediately knew what I didn't want right I'll see what I didn't want and I got to be honest I,

00:19:46: I always felt that I am a good person

00:19:48: but she really confirmed it I was like I'm great yeah yeah actually I haven't you know I have my Neurosis that I have all my stuff going on that you feel it's very difficult sometimes.

00:20:02: Compared to this I was like huh.

00:20:04: I'm really I'm really sorry really happy yeah yeah I'm saying yeah but you know I know why you had to go through that uh-huh that's because you were supposed to meet me,

00:20:15: and you're supposed to gain some understanding from my ex life that is the only reason you went through that she was,

00:20:24: believe it or not your soul to meet because I like it the journey to empathy us just cause she had a soul even but everyone does but I think she's understanding,

00:20:37: another person see.

00:20:39: Which was my situation and I'm very happy that you took the chance on me take a chance take a chance it's not all that shit would have been in vain.

00:20:49: Yeah I'm yeah absolutely but also because I'm happy that you took the chance because this was a new way of life for you,

00:20:57: and also you could have been super burned and on the same choices again yes and again and then that's a whole nother episode it is repeating patterns for sure but let me ask you since we're drawing to a close,

00:21:10: maybe you can finish this sentence for me a soulmate is a person who understands me brings Harmony.

00:21:18: For me it's just shows up alright everyone so that was Sophia Karina and I ricardia your host or more like a moderator here.

00:21:30: In bitchbreathe if you'd like to write to us give us feedback it's bitchbreathe at gmail.com the I am bitch is a number one and we look forward to hearing from you and your soulmate stories.

00:21:43: Thank you and sending love.

00:21:45: Music.