00:00:00: Music.

00:00:13: Breathe my name is ricardia and welcome to this special edition of bitch breathe because today is international women's day and for the episode today I thought I would like to make a wish list.

00:00:28: I wish list of things that I would love to see happen within my lifetime however long it might still be but certainly in that of the generations to come

00:00:37: so there is so much opinion a Ting about this day but I'll say one thing for us because it's positive and I love that about the city I live in in Berlin

00:00:48: they made International women's day and actual holiday I think 2 or 3 years ago now so.

00:00:55: Not only is this a really cool city to live in but actually it's also

00:01:01: just a really fun fact that they made it a holiday not just for women but for all of us and I am very positive about the day in general I just got off the phone with someone who said fine I don't need women's ages pay me equally already

00:01:18: and yes those things are true and there are a lot of things I wish.

00:01:22: Were in place so we wouldn't need a woman's day or we would need other sort of signifying days for other.

00:01:32: Groups of people that's are not necessarily seen acknowledged or treated fairly in our various societies around the world

00:01:42: however that said that's not what I'm going to be addressing today because today I want to talk about us women.

00:01:52: Of course because of this day but also because.

00:01:55: It's one thing to call to tear down the patriarchy I'm totally with you sisters if that's what we're doing but I want to look at what is it we're doing or not doing.

00:02:06: To help this process along to get actual equality to be the force that we are and to be reckoned with so.

00:02:16: This might not be necessarily called to Arms isn't it but it's a few little reminders to myself as well as to hopefully you who is listening.

00:02:26: So first of all what is it that we can do to you know make this patriarchy thing and like really really dig deep and.

00:02:36: Uproot a system that is unjust that literally kills women every day of every year that doesn't see us that.

00:02:48: Leads us to not see ourselves which I think is the greatest transgression of all and that whose time has come to really just you know die already I mean the patriarchy thought not the people.

00:03:02: Wow doc about Call to Arms.

00:03:05: So here's a couple of things that have been thinking about that I would like to integrate more and more everyday in my life and the first one is a little reminder that every little step helps so

00:03:18: sometimes I know when I used to be very very active with protest marches and stuff I would get so disheartened and defeated sometimes by how little change would happen in

00:03:29: what I thought would be a reasonable time for that change to happen and it would get so tiring to you know,

00:03:35: I mean it's tiring to tear down the patriarchy it's tiring to tear down entire systems that we.

00:03:41: As well as those who benefit from them have lived in our whole lives our ancestors have lived in them so even to just question that system is already a step and that's exactly what I talked about just beginning to question.

00:03:55: What it is you do everyday how you think about yourself who you feel you are in terms of value.

00:04:02: To your partner's to your family to the economy to society just questioning whether you have been valued enough.

00:04:11: Honestly questioning them that's already a step because as we all know by now we can totally operate in the outside

00:04:20: and you know throw bombs or verbal bombs at people and stuff that is one way to go it's not mine but it is a way to that people have done this in the past but the others to really look at what

00:04:34: Consciousness are you operating from right and if your Consciousness is one of questioning you've already made the first step.

00:04:41: So don't feel that you're not doing anything because you're not up there picketing with the rest of us

00:04:47: or you're not you know getting divorced because you now believe all men suck which they don't I'm here to tell us all that they don't but just looking at what it is you can do in terms of changing your thinking to contribute to this great

00:05:01: movement that is very much underway right about now.

00:05:05: And the second very easy step let's say you're homeschooling right now you got 3,000 different kids you're trying to teach you know percentages or chemistry or whatever it is to and you have a job,

00:05:16: or maybe you work from home and that's already pretty much a day right just taking care of the home or whatever it is you do help other women.

00:05:25: This is something that can be done just help other women it's so,

00:05:29: simple I worked in acting in the film business for so so long over a decade and what I notice is that was very rarely a woman who helped another woman,

00:05:40: and that toxic environment that toxic femininity is exactly one of the major reasons why I left.

00:05:47: I didn't want to be around other women who weren't feeling loyal or.

00:05:51: A certain kind of solidarity towards their own species but instead sort of elbowing and me too I think I'm pretty sure I must have done it to elbowing our way through life.

00:06:01: Against other women no no no let's try and work this together you want to gossip about some money.

00:06:10: Stop it right there you want to feel jealous about someone go ahead but just don't put it into action we're all jealous of each other men women whatever at times it's fine but try not to put that into action

00:06:22: maybe do the opposite pay a compliment support them you know if it's uncomfortable because really there's something about her that rubs you the wrong way maybe lean and even more be like I'm gonna do this I'm gonna help this person

00:06:35: but let's really help each other and while you're doing that.

00:06:41: Keep showing up and I know we talked about showing up a lot at the time at this time because we should we should talk about it more importantly we should do it we should show up for each other.

00:06:52: And most importantly show up for ourselves give ourselves breaks when we need them let ourselves be tired be defeated but then come back let ourselves be supported by people

00:07:03: people who are reaching out who are helping men or women you know somebody's helping and you're turning them down sometimes

00:07:10: don't give others the opportunity to help you to be of support just as much as you are helping and supporting others.

00:07:18: Keep showing up.

00:07:20: And then one thing that is really important to me because I didn't notice it for the longest longest longest of times is to recognize.

00:07:30: Patriarchy within ourselves to recognize internal sexism because it's there you know whether it's

00:07:40: playing small because as a man or several in the group of people standing there or not taking a seat at the table like Cheryl

00:07:49: Sandberg says or you know just in general taking it for granted that this is how it is it begins with playing it small.

00:07:58: And it goes further on with oh well you know that's just a guy that's how they do you know that's they're cheaters or you know they can't help themselves or

00:08:10: he had a hard childhood is like one know we've all had hard childhoods who cares and men are not some primate species that can't think outside of the realm of there.

00:08:22: What's the word I'm looking for outside their libidos or they're extremely Beados or any of these things that makes them look really bad 2 and plus it's not true so having all these excuses and explanations and more importantly accepting

00:08:36: those excuses and explanations no no that's internalized

00:08:41: sexism that's the enemy from within thinking that things are the way they are because that's how they've always been not questioning it and not looking at it and just carrying on like nothing happened

00:08:56: shit's really going down this time is Rife with potential and force.

00:09:03: And so whatever small way we can be part of this huge wave sometimes it reminds me of the East Australian current you know in Finding Nemo.

00:09:13: You can either swim in the ocean that's okay you'll get there eventually or you jump onto what that.

00:09:18: Stream was in the ocean called the East Australian current like those Turtles and you just surfing the wave and totally getting there.

00:09:25: And so but in a faster way and in a conscious way

00:09:29: so right that Erie East Australian current if you will and recognize the antagonistic thinking the sexist thinking from within and see if you can't find ways to modify.

00:09:43: I can only say honestly speaking I've found it's so much in myself so often have I been recognizing just how much of this whole sexism is inside me I don't need guys

00:09:57: to put me down because I do it I don't need them to take a seat from my table because I'm doing it like keep let's keep looking at our responsibility where we don't

00:10:09: fight for our right to be there to take up space and to be loud if we need to be and then.

00:10:18: This sort of goes hand-in-hand with every little step helps pick the battles that you're good at

00:10:24: so none of us can fight all battles all the time what the hell would just going to be battle-worn and bleeding and angry you know there's just no real productive way to be engaged in all Warfare at all times.

00:10:38: Write even a general she or he will not tell.

00:10:43: His or her troops to just go everywhere and fight everywhere know they have a battle strategy there's a battle plan.

00:10:51: The people who need to take charge and make the decision to look at this plan and then you deploy the forces as necessary you deploy them according to what it is they're good at.

00:11:02: So when we go to battle against this system then we pick what we're good at,

00:11:08: are you good at writing see if there is a Blog that you can get on board with a feminist blog are you really good at presenting their do that maybe within your family people are just.

00:11:20: Not really woke they don't really know how this whole system came about or why and they don't really want it.

00:11:27: This is a tough one but even try their family is the hardest ones I think sometimes that even try that a say hey can you not see this from another.

00:11:36: Angle Maybe.

00:11:37: Or could you please at least not have this kind of conversation in my presence because I don't want my children to grow up thinking like this or having that opinion whatever small way whatever context whatever Talent it is

00:11:51: that you see in your life that you can bring to this movement.

00:11:56: Go for that let's not try to exhaust ourselves by changing the world all at once because we're no good to anyone or any.

00:12:06: Movement if we're constantly exhausted and if we're trying to be a jack-of-all-trades so looking at that specific Niche where you can create change and then go for it.

00:12:17: And here's the last one that I think this is like on a massive scale this is massive and that's.

00:12:25: To think about it what if all women truly recognize the facts the facts being that.

00:12:34: We are to start with the most simple of all we are 50% of the population 50% we are half of every.

00:12:44: Person around the globe every second person around the globe is female.

00:12:51: If each and every one of these females or female identified maybe even more that way who knows.

00:12:57: If each one recognized her power if each one decided she wasn't going to be treated.

00:13:03: Anything less than who she is and what she stands for and where she comes from if each woman one morning woke up to the Consciousness that she is powerful Beyond precedent beyond belief

00:13:17: and within a population know a community that has fifty percent of the entire global population what if she recognized.

00:13:27: That what if she recognized the major contributions she's making to the economy because she for free,

00:13:37: takes care of her parents of elderly relatives of the children all that free care that women are dishing out do you know what that means financially for an economy if we all stopped doing that.

00:13:51: The economy would lose big time do we take any credit for that,

00:13:55: no we don't we just keep on working three jobs taking care of all the relatives including a partners and what whoever needs help and we get paid nothing it's okay to a certain degree it's a labor of love.

00:14:10: But do you think for a moment that if the shoe were on the other foot.

00:14:15: And men were doing all this work do we really think it would still be free.

00:14:22: I don't I can't speak for you but I think they would have been more vociferous and this is where we can take a good example from from the species right is that they would have fought for the right to be paid as well they should

00:14:36: and as well we should so let's for a moment take that in that we if we worked together.

00:14:46: All of us helping each other recognizing the signs of exhaustion and then picking each other up what we could do.

00:14:54: Because I think if we truly realized one of two things might happen a we would.

00:15:00: I have read this book once I think it was called holding out it was sort of an easy reading book but this woman for some movement I can't even remember what it was she was fighting for she started a movement where all the women

00:15:11: in heterosexual relationships stopped having sex with their Partners until a certain legislation was passed and I thought.

00:15:20: I realize it's entertainment and fluffy value but can you imagine.

00:15:24: If we all really had that much solidarity that would be interesting right or if we're not going to hold out on the sex bit what if we all stopped those caregiving jobs that we do what if we just dropped.

00:15:38: Everything we do all the labor we do that we do for free.

00:15:45: Don't you just want to see that experiment I'm dying to see that experiment I'm dying to see what would happen if we totally dropped the ball just.

00:15:55: Give him a little warning the powers that be and then drop the ball problem is of course am I going to drop the ball on my aging parents,

00:16:04: very unlikely on my kids I put them here together with someone else also not so I understand the utopian aspect of my suggestion

00:16:14: but I do like the mental exercise of just sort of imagining what that might be like and to dream about that and see what parts of that we can put into action

00:16:26: yeah as you can tell I'm very spirited and very excited about this topic I think it's such despite the pandemic despite everything's going on this is a really really interesting time to be alive to be a woman and to maybe

00:16:40: have the privilege to hear a call and answer it to fight.

00:16:46: For whatever it is that we need in our lives and in the lives of the women around us.

00:16:52: So here's to all of us I admire you I love you I think we are an incredible species not to Discount the men but today and everyday it should be

00:17:05: not in the least also about us so I hope you had a wonderful womensday I hope you have a wonderful womensday and.

00:17:15: That maybe you have one or two insights as to how it is that we can be or you can be part of this greater movement happy.

00:17:25: Music.